DON'T LOOK NOW!
Here comes summer long awaited -
Not by those of us who hate it
But the happy mass of those
Who cannot wait to shed their clothes
Get into shorts and skimpy tops
Sandals, bare feet or flip-flops
And all the sights so kindly hidden
In the winter, now unbidden
Thrust themselves into our view -
Try not to look - but if you do
Expect to see fat female forms
With bulging bums and ditto arms
With stomachs that could launch a ship
And lots of wobbly other bits
Have they no pride - these Amazons?
Don't they have mirrors in their homes?
Or does the Sun free inhibitions
Bringing forth these exhibitions?
Nor are the males a pretty sight -
Three quarter shorts, T-shirts too tight
Which hide the corpulence beneath
One wonders - can they see their feet?
They must conform with present fashions -
Gel-plastered hair stuck up in spikes
Looks like they've had a restless night!
But should their locks be thin on top
Fashion dictates they shave them off
Thank heavens for the elderly
Who still have hair for all to see
And don't connect with current fads
That weren't around when they were lads
Else look away or bear the sights
Of all those underclad delights
And let us with a gladsome mind
Praise the Lord for he is kind
In sending us those cooler days
When all is hidden from our gaze
With trousers, anoraks and coats -
So guess which seasons get my votes!
